confetti or tea?

Conversations In Going Deeper

Conversations in Going Deeper
Musing on Community

Oh there is a clock on your coffee machine
Telling you what time it is relative to where you’ve got to be.
There’s a clock on the console of your car
telling you what time it is relative to how far you’ve got to go
Before you’re there at your destination
Could be a place of work, a place of rest, or the watering hole.
But the question remains,
Well what is time?
It’s when the sun comes up
The sun goes down,
The Moon Comes out
The people dance all around.
– Elephant Revival from “What is Time?”

I’ve got an older car with a cd player (and a radio but since I live at the edge of the world, there’s no reception to go with it). I’ve got one cd in my car. The cd was sent in a care package by Michelle – a woman a few of us have deemed “Cowgirl of the Year” for LIFE based on her regular and sticker covered posted parcels. I got the car and the cd at the same time and well, now they’re a matched set. I don’t know about you but I find it’s the nature of a cd that the more you listen, the more you tend to fast forward through to get to the favorite songs and the more you fast forward the fewer favorite songs there are. I’m down to one. Track 20.

But honestly I’m like that: prone to digging deep and honing in, quick to sh*tcan the stuff that’s boring to me. I’m that way in relationships too. I prefer friendships to kick my ass and inspire me. I like my conversations deep (even if they’re repetitive).  I’m really terrible at cocktail parties.

from jj’s journal

Even Einstein said. Time is not a condition in which we live.
It’s a condition in which we think and we can change the ways we think.
So the question remains
Well what is time?
It’s when the sun comes up
The sun goes down,
The Moon Comes out
The people dance all around.

For quite a few years I studied the Enneagram extensively. If you don’t live in California (so haven’t heard of it while pouring chia seeds in your kale smoothie) I’ll simply say that it’s a system of categorizing people by what motivates them. In addition to nine types – based on your core fears and wants – it also distinguishes three settings of how you respond to other people. from jj's journalSocial” folks are wired to respond to all people equally – if you throw them into a room they are going to be interacting with freaking everyone they encounter. “Sexual” folks are wired to respond only to who they consider interesting people – as if some folks were hired as extras and we are looking to play with the main characters. And “Self Preservation” folks are wired right back into themselves – experiencing everyone as an outside environment to manage.

So when we talk about Community. (Yep I had to get here eventually!) When we talk about community – about the “who are your people?” and  “what kind of interactions actually satisfies you?” and “why do you choose the group sizes and group types that you choose” the three people will answer differently. Have you ever considered this? It’s kind of revolutionary! Have you allowed that some of your current communities might not match your deep wiring? It’s a new year so we can be honest here.  Are you a tea for two with deep conversation gal? A new years eve toss confetti fill up with witty banter  & flirting type? Inspired by quiet strangers on the bus? Would you rather be creating a project together, or sipping manhattans? Is it all about the long relationship or the new information? I really don’t care what you love, only that you lean towards what you DO love. It’s deeply relieving to allow that we can want just the kind of community that we want.


Acrylic on 30×40 Canvas by JJ

I choose community where I can have interesting conversations  – which for me are art, myth, self inquiry and coffee.
And all other communities are extras. Cosmic Cowgirls is just my kind of place: deep inquiry with a playful muse twist (Not unlike playing the washboard while musing on time and coffee machines like in “What is Time” by Elephant Revival. Check out why it’s on endless repeat in my car in the video below.)  What Community do YOU choose?

Direct Link

Oh! speaking of community! We just started our most FAVORITE community conversation in the 10 week online Cosmic Cowgirl Class LEGEND: A Journey to Awakening Your Legendary Self. If you are wanting to wake up the deep smart parts of yourself while dancing all around and questioning the nature of reality. This is your ticket. (The course has started but you can jump in through Thursday the 9th. Read more: HERE)


  • Just following your first hunch – what kind of wiring (Social, Sexual, Self Preservation) do YOU have?
  • What communities are really satisfying you right now? Which aren’t?  What are you wanting more of that you could lean towards?
  • What’s it like in your life when “the people dance all around”?

Join Jenafer Joy for her next course –

Jenafer JoyBrimming with the quirky enthusiasm that prompted her nom de plume,  Jenafer Joy rides bareback at the center of a Creativity Revolution. Using every trick in (and out) of the book – vibrant paintings, whimsical writings, and an unwavering faith in every person’s innate intuitive genius – it is impossible to spend time in her presence and not fall in love with yourself, with the whispering of your muse and with Jena’s heartfelt and contagious love of the creative life. Jena has been in the healing & creative arts leading Inspired Inquiry courses since 2003. And she is still pinching herself at the luck of being at the helm of the Cosmic Cowgirl Community as one of its three directors since 2010. You can see everything she’s up to on her website and can always find her paintings and a ridiculous pile up of journal pages on Facebook at The Art of Jenafer Joy.

Author: jenaferjoy

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  1. Hi Jenna! Loved this. I don’t know what Ennegrams are and I detest kale (even though I have neither touched nor tasted it-LOL) I would guess that I am a social person, but extremely selective. I do enjoy my own company as well. I enjoyed the link to the song as well.

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