Secrets that Free Us

Dear One,

I’ve almost always wanted

to talk about things

that no one else, at first,

wanted to talk about.

Finally I stopped caring

about being stopped and spoke

freely of the things of

which I long to speak.

When I am lucky

you join me and I am so glad.

This is true company.

Together we choose to think of things…

But really now,

things that shouldn’t be taboo at all.

But for some reason we

find it so hard to speak them

Intricacies we should be

or could be talking about in open

so that they aren’t hidden in secret.

Just think of the secrets we could tell

if the secret things that shouldn’t be,

could be spoken aloud.

So many things I have had to

find out on my own and

wonder why someone didn’t tell me

and yet we don’t speak of it freely

(sure we can oogle the google)

but to hear another woman’s voice

speak to my heart about her heart

and body and breath and bliss?

When you were a young

girl did someone speak to you,

really? I mean really so that

you understood?

For me this includes the moods,

magic and moons of menstruation.

Not to mention ovulation and how

not to get pregnant

or how to get pregnant.

When we are older and we

have lovers, did someone

tell you how this goes?

How illusive the orgasm can be

and how to nurture ecstasy –

Why I ask, still do we not

speak freely of these things.

I don’t mean giggling about

periods and sex. I mean

speaking of blood mysteries

and whether or not your

beloved’s hands know

how to cup your face

like you are the moon

and stars.

Do they make the shapes

with their body

that you need to feel

at home in your body?

Maybe no one ever

spoke to you of the shapes

lovers make that make

you feel at home.

But I will. I will.

We struggle along

feeling alone in a throng

of other alone beings

but no more.

I’ll go first then it is your


For so long I struggled along

with me and with everything

wondering and wandering

in the dark of myself.

I didn’t fit in and this lead to

my own personal taboo

because this is when we/I

start to systematically

remove parts of yourself

to fit in or not stand out

and the trouble is,

that it doesn’t work for

so many of us wild ones.

No matter what shape

We shape ourselves into

we don’t…fit.

This isn’t taboo right?

But yet we don’t talk

about it until we are beyond it.

For me, it was a form of

agony – on the outside

looking in. Even pretty,

even smart, I couldn’t

find my way and they knew

it and shunned me.

The point of this conversation

I am having with you is only this:

That you might, with me,

pause a moment in the mystery

and reconsider your assumptions

and hidden stories.

You know the ones still

in the closet or under the bed

or hidden inside your head….

those ones.

Until we can get conscious

and I do mean conscious

of the thoughts we are not thinking

then we remain in a semi-darkness.

I am not advocating streaking

your neighborhood or becoming

an exhibitionist of process and

personal story.

My vision is simply

to become conscious

of that which is hidden within you.

If you dare.

As artists our first works after

splashes of external expression

are drawn from those hidden

domains. That is where the juicy

stuff has been being stored

all this time. This is the gift

of the hidden stories Dear One,

These stories

become material for paintings

and poems and dances

under the full howling moon.

I can think of no other goal

or vision which is beyond this one:

to tenderly allow yourself

to unfold.

With interest and inquiry

into the mist covered beauty that you are.

So will you join me,

this is my invitation to enter

into your own mystery….

What lies there just beyond

the stories you know.

I want to know the stories

you don’t tell.

The one’s you hid in your pocket

at ten years old promising

to return to them after

evening chores. But didn’t.

I want to know about

the time you felt

stupid for years –

instead of as brilliant as you

really are. Someone

said something that

changed, everything.

I want to know about

the relationship in which

you started hiding

without you knowing it…

and how it shapes you still.

Let us shed that skin…

You know, those things.

Because underneath

the story being told

is the gold of alchemy.

The shining release of your

beauty unbroken.

I see you that way…

So pull up a pillow on

the edge of a cliff

and let’s dive in

to secrets that free us.

Shiloh Sophia

Live from the Red Thread Cafe in Santorini

Photo on 7-22-14 at 9.21 AM #2

Author: Jonathan Lewis

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  1. brilliant and moving…how deeply you touch my heart dear Shiloh

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  2. this nearly had me in tears for I realize and have for several days now, that I have been living on the surface because I no longer felt the connection to the depths of who I am inside…

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  3. Reading your poem made me cry. I have held a secret in my heart for almost 40 years, it is more like a taboo, a shame. It will not leave me and it persists in intensity. It feels as intense as the day it happened, 39 years ago. It drives me to insanity and sometimes I see something so beautiful yet never realized. I do not know what to do?

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  4. Beautiful poem! It really resonates with stuff that has been on my mind lately! Why don’t women really express their experiences. If they don’t we are stuck living according to a male paradigm.

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  5. Thank you, Shiloh, for beautifully expressing some of my own deep feelings, and for drawing us together in our unfolding.

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  6. Truth. I’m so very afraid of a lot of it, of what will embarrass my children, shock my husband, scare my friends.
    I’m here to listen, validate and hopefully share too

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