Warning: Cosmic Cowgirls Aims to Destory Established Order

IMG_2287People often ask me is Cosmic Cowgirls about healing? And I say, well…yes.

Or is Cosmic Cowgirls about creating balance in women’s lives?

And say, well no. Not at first anyway.

Cosmic Cowgirls stir sh*t up before it settles

into any semblance of what one might call balance.

Listen up.

When we have been hiding from who we are.

Not listening to the voice of the Muse for our whole lives.

Feeling isolated and confused about being here on earth.

Experiencing ourselves as the only one.

Feeling like if we are who we are, we won’t be loved.

Practicing being invisible since age 8.

Balance isn’t what the Art Doctor ordered.

The saddest thing of all is that the thing we hid from

is often the key to our genius, and our pleasure. ((((Sigh))))


The Art Doctor asks for a complete re-organization

of how you experience yourself and the universe

that starts with a pure prescription of unbridled unapologetic


Now chaos often just happens in our lives, and that isn’t what I mean.

Chaos is at work in the universe and in the world, and I don’t mean that either.

I mean chosen chaos. A conscious dismantling of beliefs. POW!

A free-fall into the possibility you might not be who you think you are.

The parts of ourselves and our lives begin to fly around

and we duck for cover (((((watch out for broken chains)))))

I don’t know how others do this but we do it  ‘committing art’

Beliefs, relationships, projects and assignments begin to fly apart.

We don’t know what hit us or if we could call it ‘a good thing’

But something begins to rise up if we can listen

if we can stand in the center of the storm and pause there

and look around. WHAT IS THAT FEELING????

!!!!VITALITY!!!! Possibility!!!!!!

Then we dance. (booooggggiiiiiieeeeeeee down get down)

A new vitality begins to emerge we haven’t felt before.

We have destroyed the established order and chaos has come – YA!!!

It is from the piles that remain after the storm

that we build our dreams anew or chuck the stuff.

It is from here that a legend comes into view, yours!



Can I get an amen? ((((((((AMEN))))))))

Cosmic Cowgirls as a tribe, culture and response

to societal norms and conditions aims to destroy

established order. We aren’t going for it.

We have seen the impact on the lives of women

and families trying to fit in and keep up. Nope.

We choose awakeness over acceptance.

We choose revolution over acclimation.

We choose freedom over conformity.

We choose playfulness over appropriate.

We choose creativity over ‘assigned usefulness”


So no, Cosmic Cowgirls isn’t about creating balance,

first, it starts with CHAOS. And paintbrushes and

cupcakes, whiskey, midnight tea with the Muse

and cowboy boots. Perhaps Naked.

Like that.

Signed in frosting,

~ Chief Laughing Cloud

Join me for some creative chaos and dreammaking

“Commit Art” ~ As said by Sue Hoya Sellars

P.S. As soon as I published I of course noticed I wrote, destory instead of destroy.
But I like it. Keeping it, claiming it. New vocabulary.


Photo at Terra Sophia by Jonathan Lewis


On a personal note…

They say that the night I was conceived my parents

were on acid, white lightening, and walked naked down Montezuma Avenue

in Forest Knolls in Cowboy Boots. I came into THAT portal.

I think the seed for Cosmic Cowgirls chaos theory was started that night.

Now some 44+ years later my dear dad finds himself in the hospital

for accidental overdose (yes it was, and yes he is an addict), and he

won’t ‘come out of it’. We are scared. Yep, same time as Sue.

When my mother shows up, he comes into

consciousness. He told me, he smelled her before he saw her,

and that was his first moment he was conscious of where he was,

and this is over a week into lala land. Jonathan and I were standing

there. She touched his hair, she told me later she went where

he was ‘energetically’ instead of where they were trying to tell him

he was, the hospital. And from that space, he came online, didn’t

open his eyes. We heard him say F*ck like, OH NO, where am I

that Caron would be here? But that was it, his connection

to the world came back online from the smell of my mother.

In his chaos and dismantling of his universe he has come

back to life, and sober for the first time, since THAT night

of my conception, but he wasn’t sober then either lol.

They told me he might never return from where he was.

But he did. He did. And when I saw him last week

he told me about smelling my mom – he remembered

that as his consciousness returning moment.

Then we showed him the video Jonathan took of

the helicopter he took to the hospital –  WOW COOL!


There is beauty in every story, it is helpful to look first

at the chaos for the beauty instead of the order.

Know what I mean Cowgirls?


Mama Caron, my sister Shannon, Dad, Greg. This is one year before I was born at my Grandmother Helen’s house in Woodacre.




Letters from the Red Thread Cafe

Author: Shiloh Sophia McCloud

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  1. Amen, amen, and atta girl! Love you . Thank the universe for your spirit.

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  2. Oh Yeah! I definitely know the feeling of CHAOS! I say, Beauty lies in the Chaos! 🙂 Most recently, our lovely daughter of 21 announced that she is pregnant. Yep, she is joining the mass of single un-wed mothers that are under-earning (just like the gals the non-profit I work for helps – ugh!). It’s interesting how I seem to get immersed into things that eventually aid me or others I know in the future… who knew that my daughter would be eligible for a WWIN grant? I have mixed feelings daily – Yeah! I’m going to be a grandma to OMG! I’m going to be a grandma!! YIKES!, how is Lindsey going to manage this financially, is Chris going to be able to get it together? etc., etc., (thankfully, she has the insight to wait and see if Chris can handle the responsibility and not flake out as he has so many times before, prior to committing to being a wife too — Chris is also a recovering addict – pray for him! Maybe this is the chaos needed to break him free?). Then of course there is the chaos that I have personally chosen so I can let go of second guessing, really find my voice and SING and PLAY it BIG. There are those glimmers of light and joy throughout each day that remind me that this is all good…that life is messy yet absolutely vital, beautiful and colorful. I commit art! Love you much! Shaunna

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  3. thank you for sharing. I love that you know me. I am grateful.

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  4. Oh my goodness!

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  5. Cosmic Christ is rocking my world for sure!!
    Last Friday my husband, whom I adore beyond words, but who is an alcoholic, drove drunk with a couple of kids in the car. Well…that broke me. My whole family was going to see the high school play together and it was special to me and with friends from church. But another beautiful possibility ruined when he showed up wasted. The next morning I asked him to leave!!! (Chaos!)
    I am so happy. I can’t believe I am so brave, this is new. The kids and I are so happy together in our peaceful house. This is not how I would have ever expected to feel.
    He is safe and has a good safe place to stay, by himself, with no TV, in a house fill of books, for free. (He took my daughter to dinner last night and so I heard about it) he started that anabuse pill I guess. Whatever, he’s safe.

    And I’m just good. Cleaning out drawers and closets and I’m cooking and just doing my thing. Free from that darkness. My heart knows there is something else available to me. Me, not about a man. (This is the Bay Area, he could have a new wife in a couple of weeks, probably, and I will be stuck in horror online dating douchbags for the rest of my life) Just me and the kids. I can’t look at my husband, I’m so ashamed of his actions. But I’m not mad. And I’m not obsessively worried. I’m just me, in my groove. (Dancing!!!!!)

    I’m staying present, don’t know what’s to come. I’m sooooo grateful. I walk around normally mostly super grateful and then come home to this ridiculous (profane, in fact) pity party half the time. I’m leaving him to have his party with himself over there for a bit. He’s a clever guy. I can see if it is a permanent separation, there will be a world of pain- so I’m just enjoying whatever this is, shock, or peace beyond understanding, or probably a little of both. Anyway, feeling so blessed that he was provided a safe place for free. How many Mama’s get that kind of deal?!

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  6. Oooh Shiloh-AMEN indeed! Committing art is my flag thats a flying on this eternal march with you and there’s no turning back! Dismantling of Beliefs-more servings of that please. Cheers to beauty & chaos gettin their groove on! XXO

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  7. Good morning Shiloh
    My Goodness ! Destory is right we all have one .Motherhood no matter when it comes into our lives is about a higher plan then the one we might have had in mind the best journey ever ! which leads to being A Grandmother earn rights I would think after such a journey . Women have been the soul parent of children for eons . Love them cherish them but also let them see the journey through life can be messy and chaotic . But the beauty that comes from the chaos is nothing we could ever imagine . Enjoy the walk along the edge ladies feel the wind and salty air blow through your hair ,balance those feet one foot in front of the other,

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  8. Thanks for sharing this Ms. Shiloh! The peace about balance was brilliant! I found the piece about your Dad a bit un-nerving but I think in a good way, a kick me out of the day to day humdrum kind of way. Take care and be well, Susie

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